Chapter 1

So here I am, writing a blog for some reason. For the past few years, the idea of a site and/or blog has kept popping up in my brain. I've ignored it as long as I can. I don't know where this will go or what I plan to do with it so let's just start with my background. To start the Book of Mormon, Nephi gave a quick intro about himself so I'll do the same since we have a few things in common. I too can claim being born to goodly parents and a visionary father. In the course of my dad's conversion to the LDS church and throughout his life, I'd say he's been blessed with many visions and manifestations of the spirit. In fact, he wrote and printed a small book full of them. Since joining the church, they have been devoted members and served faithfully. As the first child born into the church (some were born before their conversion, some after), I was raised going to primary, young men's, served a mission, married in the temple, had kids, and loved and still love every minute of it.

I was on autopilot though for much of it until things changed around 2010. My children were little and I became obsessed with ancient history for some reason. My love of movies, video games, and TV (sorry Buffy, Spinal Tap, and Zelda...something else captured my attention) waned and I suddenly had the urge to learn everything I could about ancient civilizations. Rome, Assyria, Babylon, Egypt, Persia, and the Hittites were just some of the ones I started to read about. I couldn't find enough books in my local library so I started buying as many as I could online. It was an insatiable thirst. I loved, loved, loved learning about all these cultures and civilizations. This passion spilled over into church books and history. First, it was Hugh Nibley and his ginormous volume of work. Then it led to the church history books. I found myself caught up in the middle ages, especially the Normans (more to come on this specific group of people in a future post), and eventually I came across some books about Christ and growing closer to Him. I can't remember for sure, but I think the book that really hit me hard was Following the Light of Christ into His Presence by John Pontius. Something in this book struck a nerve and my history passion took a back seat to learning more about Christ. I then consumed book after book while at the same time, I noticed my scripture "reading" (more of scripture skimming to get through that one chapter each day) became much more serious. The Book of Mormon suddenly became different and interesting and alive. I started actually being taught by the Spirit while reading and understanding more and more. My journey to something real and important finally had a course and destination.

Fast forward to now and I feel like I'm just starting to scratch the surface. I feel more connected to God and His Son. I've felt the Spirit quite strongly on occasion throughout my life, but it's different now. I feel more clarity in the messages, which is cool. I pray in my closet in full honesty, intent, and humility before God and listen instead of talk all the time (one thing he sternly taught me recently during prayer). I still participate in my LDS ward because they are my friends and people I love. I love to tinker with cars, wood, and guns and especially enjoy restoring old things so helping share the truth of the restoration Joseph started is appealing to me. As for my current view of the LDS church, I am certain there are problems within the LDS church and its hierarchy and leaders. There is too much moneymaking, public lying, and overlooking abuse for me to believe this is who the Lord wants leading His people. Those criticisms aside, my disenchantment with the church is mostly because of a feeling that has gnawed inside of me for many years now. Something was telling me things are amiss and that was the same time my thirst for knowledge and passion to learn began. I don't believe that was coincidence. Looking back, I can see the hand of the Lord leading me from precept to precept, only as much as I could handle to get me here. I truly believe the Lord is going to do some wild, miraculous works again. It seems he's working through others now and I'm paying very close attention to those folks these days. By their fruits, you will know them and I'm inspecting the fruit as closely as I can. I know when wickedness has ripened, and boy has it ripened in the U.S., His prophets come out of nowhere to warn us. Just like Abinadi, Samuel the Lamanite, Elijah, and others. I don't want to miss the signs and warnings. Let's be honest, I bet most Mormons would cast out Abinadi if he showed up at an LDS ward today. Church members don't like anything that disrupts the status quo (aka All Is Well). To be worthy to see the signs and abide by His covenants, I'm fully engaged in the repentance process and doing my absolute best to stop sinning so the Lord will bless me with the discernment I need to not be deceived by Satan. I need to get out of my awful state and abide with the Lord.

And all of what has happened to me couldn't have been possible without my wife, my best friend and soul mate. She's supported me throughout this whole journey and thoughtfully listens when I've thrown out wacky ideas to her. She keeps me grounded and I rely on her cautious eye and spirit to keep watch over me so I don't wander off too far. As hard as truth can be sometimes when it upends foolish traditions we've believed, she takes it on her own to gain a witness and together we teach our children those correct principles. Really, all we teach them is the doctrine of Christ. Faith, repentance, baptism of water and fire. We reinforce those principles and to always validate everything with the Lord. Follow nothing until He confirms it. We make a pretty damn good team, if I do say so myself.

I don't know how often I'll post, but I've already been told that I need to share my experiences so when something happens that I'm allowed to share and I think has value, I will. Might be weekly, or monthly, or yearly. For those who may come across this, I claim to be an authority on nothing. I hold no special rank in any organization, I'm not particularly educated in a worldly sense, and I'm an average IQ kind of guy. Again, just doing this for myself and because I've been instructed to do it. God bless.